Stop all your Prom-a. Ha. See what I did there? I need a life.

I always seem to find myself in really strange situations, probably more than most people do. No other person, however, is responsible for more strange situations than my sister, Valerie. Anything, and I mean anything, can become a potentially uncomfortable situation.

Sure, it may not seem that strange to you, but you haven't seen this girl eat corn. One second, there's an entire 1-pound bag of corn in my freezer, next, it's gone. Strangely enough though, half of it ends up trailing along my dorm room floor. It's confusing. But anyways, Val's uncanny addiction to corn pales in comparison to the events that have unfolded this past week.
 
You see, Valerie has been home schooled the past 2 years, and finally had a chance to enjoy her senior prom this year. She even had a date: one of our family friends and neighbor from back in the day. Everything was going perfectly. Too perfectly.

 

 

 

Let me put this in perspective for you: It's 2 weeks before the prom, we have to pick him up from another state, and he still needs a tux. This was all very feasible. Until:

Ok. No one really buys this to be honest and I figure "Hey. We'll find you another prom date if he decides to be a no-show." Easy. There's still enough time to get a tux. Surely someone else will go with Val. She's hilarious and awesome. He quickly says that he will in fact still go, but can't come down on the proposed day. Alright. We postpone our 10-hour trip until the following weekend, barely making deadlines for getting a tux. Suddenly, another roadblock stands in the way.

"Okay, we can do that," my family thinks in unison, "Just send us your measurements and we'll take it from there." No response. No tux measurements. It passed the deadline. No date. No time to get another one. All of the sudden, the checklist looks like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The prom is this coming Saturday. I'm 21 and going with my sister. Technically, I'm not even allowed in there because I'm not under 18. All I can say with absolute certainty is that there will definitely be a new post about this soon.

The Edward.

I once had a very peculiar roommate a while back. I'm going to call her S for the sake of privacy. Let me just say, the S did not stand for sane. I promise you.

 

She was one of those types of roommates you don't expect to exist, save for in the tortured minds of the people who brought us The Roommate. I've never seen it, for fear that it could've caused me some sort of paranoia-induced panic attack knowing that same person could be lurking two doors down.

Here's a lovely story about S. At my old dorm, everyone had their own room, their own door, their own privacy. I was sound asleep at about 7 am, like normal college people are. Suddenly, my dreams quickly transformed into a nightmare that I was being watched. This feeling continued on and on, until I could no longer stand it.

That's when I realized this was no dream. And in fact, there S was, watching me sleep, in the same disturbing way a sparkling vampire would stare at a sleeping Bella Swan after climbing in through the window. I regret seeing that movie because he watches her sleep because he's bored.

Creepy. I still shudder every time I think about it. But many questions still go through my mind to this day. Why would she need a bus schedule? How would picking my lock and searching through my room while watching me sleep solve that? Was she even looking for a bus schedule or was that only an excuse? How did she even get in my room?  Who would make vampires sparkle? I still don't really know the answers to any of them.

All I do know is that this face right here:

still haunts my days and nights, forcing me to lock my door.* That, and there were at least 50 bus schedules stacked neatly in the lobby.

*Not really. At least not 100%. I'm totally embellishing some of the story bits, such as her being in my nightmares and being a complete emotional mess. S is a really fun person although I really did find her creepin' in my room one cold morning. She's an awesome friend and I trust if she were to stumble upon this one day, she wouldn't take this seriously. She knows me and survived being my roommate for a year. And that's saying something. I once poured my drawing materials out my door because I couldn't work in my room as it was too destroyed...